I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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