as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
