we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dick very happy bro
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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