dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
