I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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