Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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