i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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