I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
