the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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