Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.

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(810): View more from Michigan

woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

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(515): View more from Iowa

i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.

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(313): View more from Michigan

...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?

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