he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize