My brain says no but my pants say off.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
