I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
