so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
