I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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