Actions speak louder than pants.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
