i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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