I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize