I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize