You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
