i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
