in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
