I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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