Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There r osticjed everywhere
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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