no, he came in my armpit
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
