we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
