so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize