Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
