omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
