she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
