Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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