We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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