Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
