Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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