I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize