K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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