So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
