Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
