Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
