i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
