I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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