Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
