I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Found your dick twin last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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