Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
