I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
love makes seman taste better
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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