Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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