3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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