Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
false alarm. still invincible.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
