i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
