I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
