someone owes me an orgasm
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize