Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
