12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
