i dont even know how to be here
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
