i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
