Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
