WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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